Wednesday, November 29, 2017

A Look Through My Lens...

Sitting around looking for a creative outlet different from what I've been doing such as writing, painting & beading. Though I love all of these things, I felt like doing something new, after all I've always held an interest in art no matter the format or medium. Each one carries a special It's just a matter of actually getting started. A few days ago, as I sat thinking & venting on paper was when it came to me like an epiphany. Alongside a TV commercial I noticed some enlarged black & white prints on the walls. Immediately I was hooked...I knew right then...Photography!! Now photography is something I've always been interested in doing. Not professionally but as a hobby. I've wanted to take some classes at a local art center here in the city however I haven't had the opportunity as of yet. It's rather expensive & I can't afford it. So I decided in the meantime, my cellphone would have to do.

I sat checking out the camera features of my iPhone8 & I was completely amazed by it's phenomenal capabilities & functionality it entails. So one day last week I decided simply to take a stroll around the block. The air was brisk, crisp & the sun was warm. After I accessed the camera, I flicked through the many filters; Natural Light, Stage Light, Portrait...The list merely trails.  Proudly I paced myself, my wheels crunching through the fallen dried leaves on the ground. It was such a gorgeous day, I couldn't help but smile. Looking around, I was taken aback at how beautiful the things that we pass each day all had their own unique flairs & flaws. The fire hydrants were old, rusted, worn out yet stood posted in its place completely unaware of its presence, not knowing just how many lifetimes its been there & will remain there. Imagine how new & unused these things looked when they first appeared? Compared to the wear & tear created over time & outdoor elements assists in these unique markings. The sewer caps, how different each one were yet they serve the same purpose. It serves as the lifelines or doorway to our water system, its the reason we're able to bathe, shower, swim, have a refreshing drink....I never noticed this until now. Stop signs were bright red, some with the neighbors graffiti tags from spray paints to add some personal flair, some were scraped, chipped yet there they stood tall & proud doing its job....Making sure motorists "Stop" Tall, sturdy, embedded into the cement encased base ensuring it stays put.....Old public phone booths with no phone serves as a reminder of just how technologically inclined our society, generation & culture has become...."For Sale" signs alerting passersby of what could potentially be a "Deal of the century!!" Worn & tarnished from natures elements, yet it stays put, etc.

Those were just a few of the descriptions of photos I took. Out of all of them, the ones I described held somewhat dear to me.....Though worn, weathered, tattered, exhausted these things remain & serve its purpose in the same token. Reminds me of my Haley Jean. Her tiny little body plagued with health issues, yet there she remained in tact. Her body worn, tattered, tired, differently abled, perfectly imperfect yet she was as beautiful as a gentle breeze brushing through a field of lilies. Rustling through the fallen leaves on the moist pavement on an early Fall morning after a short rainfall.

These things we see each day, yet we disregard them as vital parts of our lives. Why? Who knows....Possibly because they've become adapted to our sensory system; we know they are present, but if no one brings them to our direct attention, we routinely pass them by.....Just as the sun sets & rises again & again. Or possibly because no one truly considers the importance of these things. Especially if they're full of flaws, like humans do, we automatically regard them as "different" because of those flaws. Flaws, which is why I often use beads that are chipped or cracked, I feel they should be incorporated into something that is beautiful too....Again, like my Haley Jean, perfectly imperfect, tattered, worn, tired....But still RADIANT beyond measure. And like these things, flawed, perfectly imperfect, tarnished, worn.....But still present....<3

























Some reminder links...





Sunday, November 26, 2017

Darkness is My Friend...

 Darkness is my friend, it excepts me in my most vulnerable state it is quiet, it doesn’t judge me, it doesn’t force feedback or try consoling me. It lets me be me...It lies still in silence, it’s steadiness and consistency  allows me the freedom to cry nonstop for hours on end without making anyone in my presence feel powerless. Darkness is my best friend. It doesn’t remind me of what I accomplished in the past, on the contrary  it simply lingers in the present. To linger in the presence is what I like, why go back into memories, or revisiting the past that I will never have the pleasure of reliving again? Darkness truly is my best friend because it is always there, it never leaves me,  it is always there not even taunting me, though strange is that my seem, but instead it is inviting. It’s embrace is warm, It is welcoming with open arms to hold me like a strong hug from my long lost loved one. It’s stance is vertical, unwavering, poised and always waiting for me.  Why would I ever leave her now, I lie in it’s stillness,  its thick blackness alone engulfed by my friend named darkness and in her I can be sad, angry, disappointed, depressed, I can even talk to her and not worry about a response or saying the wrong thing because  she only listens, yet never speak. Darkness, is equated with depression, it is equated with grief and loss all the things I’ve experienced jumbled into one another. Somewhat like a snowball effect, in one sweeping  push down a steep ravine all of these things that I now relate to is now become the forefront of my life. Darkness awaits me every night, throughout the day and in the light I prepare for her. I prepare by making jewelry, doing laundry, household chores ,watching a movie, writing etc. But once the lights inside my home become brighter, I know that it is only a matter of time that darkness will be here waiting for me. And I will greet her with open arms, and that in that space with nothing but my thoughts echoing in my head. She is all I know right now, and all I  wish to know until otherwise noted. Thank you my friend, it’s been a pleasure..... See you tonight....😓