Thursday, September 24, 2015

Finding "Me" Again...

Greetings family, friends & strangers afar.....Goodness it's been a long time since I've blogged. I"m sure you've all wondered where I've been & what I've been up to. The truth is nothing else much has changed. Aside from finding things that will keep my mind occupied theres nothing else worth talking about. Finally started on filling out "Thank You" cards for those who signed the book at her services. It's been months but I couldn't do it until now. Painting has gotten more easy & therapeutic so the more I do it, the better I feel. However, unfortunately I've become more withdrawn, secluded. Staying home in my own space, alone seems more easy & safe for me. I am also dealing with more physical pain & working with my home care providers to get a good pain regimen going. It's rather difficult considering I have so much emotional pain as well....Still haven't started working yet, I guess no one wants to hire me for being away for so long. I even explained  [briefly] on my resume the reason for my hiatus. I hope it finds the right heart to give me that chance I so desperately need..I don't know who I am anymore or what my purpose is. I hope this process allows me to find myself again...To love myself again.....

So anyhow since my Haley Jean's trip to Heaven, its provided me with lots of idle time on my hands. Forcing me to think constantly day in & day out, I realized that it's imperative to keep her name & legacy alive in a positive way. I've come up with 'Bracelets for Bravery'. These handmade beaded bracelets symbolize all that Haley Jean embodied; courage, strength, tenacity, bravery & most of all Love. I'm choosing people with children with special needs to gift them to, as well as those who's lost a child. Caring for a child with special needs entails a great deal of courage & so does losing one. The aftermath of losing a child who was long-suffering is an unbearable journey. These bright, vivid colors also exemplify her personality; bubbly, happy & full of life. Her eyes big & bright like glass marbles you could get lost just staring into them, her smile so infectious, convincing you that all is well in the world. These bracelets are a reminder of all she epitomized.  When I make these bracelets this is what I think of. I'm so motivated by this type of creativity, somehow feeling rejuvenated when I'm beading. Especially for this reason. Although she's not here, strangely I sense her spirit. Fun & whimsical charms bring such excitement to each piece, not to mention the courageous childs' initial . I have a couple other projects I'm working on but it's too soon to dish. Just stay tuned.....  Thank you for being patient with me. I cant begin to tell you just how much this truly means to not only me but my family as well. We love you all dearly...;)

By the way...;)

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