Darkness is My Friend...

 Darkness is my friend, it excepts me in my most vulnerable state it is quiet, it doesn’t judge me, it doesn’t force feedback or try consoling me. It lets me be me...It lies still in silence, it’s steadiness and consistency  allows me the freedom to cry nonstop for hours on end without making anyone in my presence feel powerless. Darkness is my best friend. It doesn’t remind me of what I accomplished in the past, on the contrary  it simply lingers in the present. To linger in the presence is what I like, why go back into memories, or revisiting the past that I will never have the pleasure of reliving again? Darkness truly is my best friend because it is always there, it never leaves me,  it is always there not even taunting me, though strange is that my seem, but instead it is inviting. It’s embrace is warm, It is welcoming with open arms to hold me like a strong hug from my long lost loved one. It’s stance is vertical, unwavering, poised and always waiting for me.  Why would I ever leave her now, I lie in it’s stillness,  its thick blackness alone engulfed by my friend named darkness and in her I can be sad, angry, disappointed, depressed, I can even talk to her and not worry about a response or saying the wrong thing because  she only listens, yet never speak. Darkness, is equated with depression, it is equated with grief and loss all the things I’ve experienced jumbled into one another. Somewhat like a snowball effect, in one sweeping  push down a steep ravine all of these things that I now relate to is now become the forefront of my life. Darkness awaits me every night, throughout the day and in the light I prepare for her. I prepare by making jewelry, doing laundry, household chores ,watching a movie, writing etc. But once the lights inside my home become brighter, I know that it is only a matter of time that darkness will be here waiting for me. And I will greet her with open arms, and that in that space with nothing but my thoughts echoing in my head. She is all I know right now, and all I  wish to know until otherwise noted. Thank you my friend, it’s been a pleasure..... See you tonight....😓