Land of the Misfit Toys

All my life I've had the privilege of being one the most intriguing types of people on this earth...Physically disabled! Now, as you can see I didn't say that with any inkling of narcissism, but rather a smidge of sarcasm. It's no secret that I'm in a wheelchair I make no effort to hide it. How can I...Right? For as long as I can recall, my wheelchair was a part of me. My parents made it clear that I wasn't an invalid, the chair wasn't a contagious contraption but that it just an accessory. Though it was necessary, it wasn't there to define me in a negative or degenerative way. Unfortunately these were the ideals & beliefs of my family...Not those of society. I found out the hard way that I was "different". It wasn't until college that I truly was forced to look in the mirror & see what others saw: A wheelchair. I wasn't the first to be asked to join a discussion group when the instructor gave group assignments. In fact, I was never asked. The teacher almost always had to ask for me by making suggestions of how I'd be a wonderful asset to the group...How it would be a return of an investment. Kinda like bargaining on my behalf. I felt small, invalid & unimportant. Didn't at all feel a part of something extraordinary. I've experienced this in the workforce as well. You know....A trouble-shooting dilema comes up & everyone in the office asks each other but me...Can you imagine sitting there trying to make suggestions & someone talks over you, puts their hand up & says.."No, no it's not that".. Though I'm the only one that notices this segregation. I don't blame anyone..In fact it's just the way the world is designed...We all are guilty of associating with what's relatable to us. For instance, Typically we all have a tendency to have a "type" in terms of being in a relationship. Most times, we don't date outside this "type" because it's what is relevant & attractive to our preference. It's the same thing....When it comes to the moral values of society in this generation, we're not as progressive as we thought. So, to the able-bodied community, welcome to the Land of the Misfit Toys...:))))

After I'd gotten pregnant & I started to inflate in some very delicate areas of my body,I had realized it was the "Glow." It wasn't long before my mind started to tell me that EVERYONE knew I was with child & the looks began to pierce.  I wasn't married nor in a steady relationship so my antennas were already on edge. Half were actually staring & the other half was just my extreme paranoia. For instance my first appointment almost ended in disaster, only because I was certain the patients waiting to be seen were wondering .."Is she pregnant, but she's in a wheelchair, she couldn't be, she's just a child." Call it what you want, they were. As time persisted & my belly expanded, the looks were even more obvious. So, I'd politely say "Hello, how are you?" It was nicer than "Wtf are you staring at you asshole?!!" I figured you get more flies with honey than vinegar so I knew that from now on it was best to break down the walls of anxiety as much as possible. People were more reluctant [interested] in talking to me. Afterall, I didn't look like the average pregnant woman. I was pregnant, 3" 9', in a wheelchair & to others looked like a 12 year old...When I'm not wearing make-up :)..There was mystery, intrigue..I think a certain intensity about me that welcomed attention. I didn't want to be perceived as a freak of nature, I wanted to be viewed as a woman. Pregnancy is a blessing from God & meant to replenish the earth. It isn't a curse or abomination but a magnificent gift that I'm thankful for each day...:)