Hi friends!! How are things?? I'm very new at this, only a few hours new so please bear with me as the goal here is to catch up from when I found out I was expecting up until today. I'll start off with two posts a day. It's a lot but I'll do my best not to ramble & share what I think is most important & relevant.
The idea of me having children was a figment of my imagination. Due to my own health issues, it was strongly recommended by many medical physicians that peopl with OI should consider other alternatives in having children. Surrogacy was most recommended yet expensive for the average person. I had read stories of cases such as these in the past so it gave me a little hope that having a family was a possibility. My finances were nowhere near comfortable & my love life wasn't consistent so that option was out. Some women with type III have safely carried full term, others have not. I wanted to try but the harsh realities of carrying a child began to grow. Finally I had made up my mind that it was best to give up that dream. Once I actually got pregnant, things changed. For me, abortion wasn't an option but to some, it was the best thing. I've always been a risk taker, never allowing circumstance to dictate my life. If something arise, I address it. Done. I've always felt that "disabled" feeling in the back of my mind. When I got pregnant, I felt like a full fledged woman. I think many people saw that in me as well, just didn't realize it until now. These are feelings of any woman, disabled or not. I believe women with a disability that effects growth body image can relate to these feelings. We've been dependent majority of our lives so when something drastic & grown up happens, people scramble to make sense of things. I didn't think I was pregnant until I realized my body was changing. I didn't feel like myself. I thought I was getting my cycle; cramps, bloating, tender breasts. The results made me euphoric & felt surreal. This experience showed me how inexperienced I really was, as I had no idea that the first signs of pregnancy were similar to menstruation. My body was in for a wild ride, and I was the only passenger...:)))
Ultimately I had found myself in that gray area of my life; that uncertain part that forced you to make decisions with not much time to think. It wasn't long before I was hammered with opinionated pessimists...It made my decision clearer & concise....;)
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